Friday, March 4, 2011

A Layover to Remember

My husband, (Jiggles), moved out to Switzerland a month before the rest of us were to follow. This meant that I would have to travel across the world with 4 suitcases holding everything that we own, a 4-year-old (Thing 1) on a leash, and a 10 month old baby (Thing 2) strapped to my front. No thank you.

It didn't take much to talk my mother into making the trip with us. After an all night flight we landed in London for a short layover to Newcastle, England where we planned to spend a couple of days.

Thing 2 had not pooped in over 24 hours and we were both on guard-- but we had no idea what we were in for...

We dragged the children and carryons through the security line and when it was finally our turn to put our bags on the conveyer belt, a woman tugged on my mother's shirt and in her sweetest British accent she said, "Excuse me, but you've a bit of a problem."

My mother and I looked down to where she pointed on the floor and stood in horror at the puddle of dog %$*# on the floor beneath her. It took about half a second for me to realize that it had not come from a dog, and as I followed my gaze up my mother's arms I saw what looked like diarrhea trailing from Thing 2's pant leg all the way down her shirt and onto Thing 1's leash, which she was holding in her other hand.

My mother and Thing 2 ran off to the bathroom with a fresh diaper and wipes and left me with Thing 1, our 3 carryons, and a poopy leash.

As we stood there waiting for mom to come back, Thing 1 looked up at me and frantically said, "I need to go potty!" I soon realized that he couldn't wait and with Thing 1's hand in mine and a poopy leash in the other, I began kicking our carryons down the long hallway through hundreds of people to the nearest restroom.

I saw a room with a baby changing picture on the outside and ran inside, only to find a very frustrated mother inside with a baby in a diaper and nothing else. She was not proud to hear that I had forgotten a change of baby clothes and I looked around to see that there was no toilet in the room, only a sink and a baby changing table.

"Watch this stuff!" I yelled as I grabbed Thing 1's hand and ran to the women's restroom, realizing I had to go pretty bad too.

OF COURSE the women's line was going out the door!!! We ran back to the baby changing room and with no other options, we each took turns going to the bathroom in the sink! I was glad that nobody walked in on me sitting over the sink with my pants around my ankles and yelling at my mother to turn her head.
Our plane was calling for last boarding and we ran through the airport with a naked baby in tow. We got to the plan out of breath as the crew members were closing the doors.

Definately a layover to remember.

5 comments:

Ally said...

oh. my. gosh. that totally beats the time i had to pee in a cup on i-80. glad you made it friend! love you and so excited about your blog!

Jessamy said...

OMG. I can't believe that! You are a hilarious writer. Wes and I both laughed ourselves half to death.

On our middle-of-the-night (actually 3 am our time) layover while traveling home for Christmas Khloe puked buckets all over me in the middle of an airport store and I had to run thru the busy halls screaming for Wes because he was no where to be found.

Your story totally puts mine to shame. Glad you started a blog!

Holly said...

Ohhhh Heather....can't wait to follow your blog. You should have it published some day! LOL

Ashley said...

WOW!! That's crazy!! I will agree with Ally, Glad you started a blog.. and looking forward to hearing about all the adventures you are having!! :)

Wade and Brianna said...

Oh that is so funny, Seriously you have always had the best stories. I can't wait to hear more about your time there.